i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
