Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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