great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
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