cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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