We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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