blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
