I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
