I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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