I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I was not drunk enough for that final.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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