If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
