I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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