How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
The feeling are messing with the penis
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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