i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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