Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
