Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
