why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
