The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
