There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
