Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
