I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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