Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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