apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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