I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
