It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
