So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
COCAINE IS GR8
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
