Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
