If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
