I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bondingš
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW IāM MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear āoh canadaā on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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