I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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