Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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