Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I think I died a long time ago.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
