Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
