Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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