We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
