ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
