My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
