Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
