More tranny stories later!
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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