I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Randomize
