So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
