none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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