I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm at about main and main street
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
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