very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
