I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Congratulations! We have a period
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