the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
We just shotgunned beers for America
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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