frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
