lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
