Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
