He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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