It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
