no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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