But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You dont lie about slip and slides
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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